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Obama to Nation: You MUST Learn

Oh bother.

But the spirit of the U.S. Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, the desire to create jobs and provide opportunity to people who sometimes have been left out — that’s exactly what this administration is about. That’s the essence of the American Dream.

Huh — and me thinking that the American Dream had something to do with people making their own opportunities. If only I were as wise as the Dear Leader. And knowledgeable!

But it also means taking steps that … lay the foundation for lasting, shared prosperity.

NOT socialism, just “shared prosperity”. No losers, because everyone’s the same. How could that be construed as “socialism”. Bah. Fools.

President Roosevelt didn’t have the luxury of choosing between ending a depression and fighting a war; he had to do both.

Actually, bro, the one took care of the other so, in a sense, Roosevelt didn’t actually do anything here. (Fine, I’m being unfair. Roosevelt was the most hawkish president in the history of the republic and used his radio broadcasts to try and bully the American public and reluctant Republicans into going to war. Of course, the recover was well underway prior to the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, thanks in no small part to Britain and its satellites buying military equipment produced in the United States — which they probably might have done even if Wendell Willkie had won. Yes, I alliterated — it was hard to help.)

President Kennedy didn’t have the luxury of choosing between civil rights and sending us to the moon.

So we had no choice but to go to the moon? Interesting take. And, uh, Senator JFK voted against the 1957 Civil Rights Act. His later speeches about how, you know, important civil rights were seem like sort of a convenient flip-flop, sort of like when Mitt Romney became pro-life (well, except that for some reason people chose to believe Kennedy).

America’s place as a global economic leader will be put at risk unless we … transform the way we use energy

The Dear Leader’s cap-and-trade carbon reduction plans would, at his own admission, result in an enormous increase in the cost of energy. Energy is the blood of the economy, like it or not. If it costs more, it’s basically like putting a whole new tax on the overall economy. And if you feel like it’s worth handicapping businesses for the sake of environmental initiatives, that’s fine. But probably don’t try and tell people that doing so is going to help retain America’s place as a global economic leader. At times, it’s almost as if the Great One speaks out of both sides of his mouth. As for Obama’s energy policy, it seems more likely that it would be putting America’s place as THE global economic leader at risk.

And it’s interesting how Bomma thinks that the US is THE world leader in stuff like inventing cars and hard work (both clearly untrue), but is merely A world leader when it comes to the economy (when, in fact, the US actually IS the world leader (per World Bank, IMF, and CIA and acknowledging that Europe is not one country)). I guess that way when his energy policy drops us to, I dunno, number five in the rankings, maybe people won’t notice since we were always merely A world leader. Because that’s what Dear Leader said we were.

It made possible somebody like a Sergei Brin to attend graduate school and found an upstart company called Google that would forever change our world.

…by making obsolete trivial concepts such as personal privacy and corporate transparency.

The source of America’s prosperity has never been merely how ably we accumulate wealth, but how well we educate our people.

This is a bold statement by our Dear Leader. He should support it with facts and examples. And “we”? “Our people”? I’m assuming I’m included among “our people”, so who is “we” to whom I apparently now belong?

That’s why workers without a four-year degree have borne the brunt of recent layoffs, Latinos most of all.

Can you say “pandering”? (And might Dear Leader want to consider citing something in making such a claim?)

Singapore’s middle-schoolers outperform ours three to one.

What does that even mean? How can anyone of significant intelligence utter a sentence like that without having his brain seize up? A Singaporean middle-schooler performs like three American middle-schoolers? In what sense could that possibly be true? Ugh.

And year after year, a stubborn gap persists between how well white students are doing compared to their African American and Latino classmates.

So the real problem is how well the white students are doing as compared to black and Latino students. Interesting how there’s no concern about East Asian, Indian, or Middle-Eastern students. It’s whitey that’s doing the screwing, so it’s whitey we’re gonna call out. Do people really wonder how it’s possible to consider Obama racist or anti-white?

It’s time to demand results from government at every level.

Remember that time when Dear Leader said he didn’t want “bigger government”? Yeah, that was pretty funny. I wish he’d tell more jokes like that so I can laugh more.

It’s time to give all Americans a complete and competitive education from the cradle up through a career.

Why wait until they get to the cradle? I say mandatory federally-funded pre-natal instruction and standardized testing in math, sciences, and the language arts for every fetus conceived in America! [Beifall]

That’s exactly what the budget I’m submitting to Congress has begun to achieve.

In what sense has your budget begun to achieve making every level of American education the envy of the world? Perhaps you could justify this maybe a little bit, oh Great One.

Now, at a time when we’ve inherited a trillion- dollar deficit, we will…

…increase it thirty-fold!!! [starker Beifall]

Wir haben eine Erziehungsorganisation aufgestellt wie die Welt noch nie gesehen hat!!!

For every dollar we invest in these programs, we get nearly $10 back in reduced welfare rolls…

You know, even NPR had a hard time finding justification for this claim.

That’s why the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act that I signed into law…

Yes, we know, we’d be nothing without you, Great One, c’mon now, just give it a rest, okay?

And some are wasting away their most formative years in bad programs. That includes the one-fourth of all children who are Hispanic…

Sweeping over-generalization? Maybe?

…and who will drive America’s workforce of tomorrow…

So we’ve already determined that Hispanics will drive America’s workforce of tomorrow? In that case I’ll just tell the Asian and white kids to sit back and relax and let the Hispanics get to work.

That’s why I’m issuing a challenge to our states: Develop a cutting-edge plan to raise the quality of your early learning programs

It just has to be “cutting-edge”, right? Not necessarily good or effective? Cuz cutting-edge we can do.

If you do, we will support you with an Early Learning Challenge Grant that I call on Congress to enact.

It would be so cool if the Great One said again how he doesn’t wan bigger government. The Great One loves irony, I just know it.

…we will end what has become a race to the bottom in our schools and instead spur a race to the top by encouraging better standards and assessments.

Wow, now that is a bold move. Well played Mr. President!

Today’s system of 50 different sets of benchmarks for academic success means 4th grade readers in Mississippi are scoring nearly 70 points lower than students in Wyoming — and they’re getting the same grade.

So let’s install a federalized system that ensures that those no-good, non-working white kids in Wyoming can’t possibly score any higher than the hard-working Hispanics in Mississippi!

Eight of our states are setting their standards so low that their students may end up on par with roughly the bottom 40 percent of the world.

(A) What does this even mean? and (b) Any justification for the claim?

The solution to low test scores is not lowering standards — it’s tougher, clearer standards.

So, by doing nothing other than changing testing standards, kids will become smarter. Um — sure, I get it.

…but whether they possess 21st century skills like problem-solving and critical thinking and entrepreneurship and creativity.

Interestingly, prior to 2001, “problem solving” wasn’t even acknowledged as a coherent concept in the 37 states that aimed to be in the bottom 60 of the world in science standards-setting.

From the moment students enter a school, the most important factor in their success is not the color of their skin or the income of their parents, it’s the person standing at the front of the classroom.

Is — is Obama standing at the front of the classroom…?

Let me be clear — the overwhelming number of teachers are doing an outstanding job under difficult circumstances.

Irony: this sentence doesn’t make sense and, well, is unclear. Probably because we didn’t have No Child Left Behind when the Great One was in school. In Indonesia.

My sister is a teacher, so I know how tough teaching can be.

Dear Mr. Obama: Your sister is not a signficant sample size. Love, Me. (Interesting how he keeps talking about studying science, but never about statistics or probability…)

(As a side note: Man, but this guy is long-winded!)

…our children spend over a month less in school than children in South Korea — every year. That’s no way to prepare them for a 21st century economy.

Also makes indoctrination more difficult and gives them too much free time to think for themselves.

As I said a couple of weeks ago, dropping out is quitting on yourself, it’s quitting on your country, and it’s not an option — not anymore.

And like I asked a couple of weeks ago, what’s that supposed to mean? Are you going to start executing kids for dropping out? Force them into Ludovico treatment centers?

Not when our high school dropout rate has tripled in the past 30 years.

Well then maybe it is still an option, eh? And btw, source:NPR refutes this number. Tripled? It went from like 26% to 30% from 1978-2008. By “tripled”, the Dear Leader clearly meant “increased by 15%”. They did math differently in Indonesia. Hawaii too. And Kenya! Don’t get me started on Kenyan math. It’s wacky, but damn solid. Especially when you need a good sound bite.

Not when Latino students are dropping out faster than just about anyone else.

So dropping out is “not an option — not anymore” because Latino students are dropping out faster than “just about” anyone else? There’s a causality there? And does anyone read these speeches before he starts giving them or is this just off-the-cuff? “Great Orator”, eh?

Let us all make turning around our schools our collective responsibility as Americans.

Ah, sweet collectivism!

the fifth part of America’s education strategy is providing every American with a quality higher education

People are entitled to this now? Jeez, had I known, I wouldn’t have bothered paying tuition back when I did.

Okay, I was on scholarship so I didn’t have to pay tuition, but still — I had to buy books.

For the first time ever, Pell Grants will not be subject to the politics of the moment or the whim of the market — they will be a commitment that Congress is required to uphold each and every year.

In what sense “required”?

To help pay for all of this, we’re putting students ahead of lenders by eliminating wasteful student loan subsidies that cost taxpayers billions each year.

So we’re paying for this by giving money directly to students and cutting out that wretched middle-man, the private enterprise. Ever hear that story about Stalin and the plucked chicken…?

…because government, no matter how wise or efficient, cannot turn off the TV or put away the video games.

Whatever happened to si se puede?! Man. So defeatist. Doesn’t sound like he’s even willing to try.

These are things only a parent can do. These are things that our parents must do.

…or they will be incarcerated. [starker Beifall]

See, I want every child in this country to have the same chance that my mother gave me

He’s aware that not every kid is going to be able to grow up to be president, right? (Is his audience aware of this? Does he care?)

And we have all this potential — but the way things are going, we’re not going to be able to [fulfill it].

How does anyone consider this guy anything other than a rank pessimist? He brings despair into every speech he gives. Freakin’ troll. I mean — no, Great One, I wasn’t talking about you, I was just talking to — ah, ****. One day I will win the victory over myself. I will love Dear Leader.

And we will not rest until your parents can keep … their jobs

What if their parents are incompetent? And what are you going to do, make it illegal for companies to fire people in order to cut costs? Not a socialist you said, right? You’re not a socialist? Great One?

It’s the founding promise of our nation: That we can make of our lives what we will…

Unless what you “will” is to drop out of high school, not go to college, pay less than 40% of your income in taxes, carry a gun, drive a car without wearing a seatbelt, etc., etc.

And sure times are tough, but I’m sure the Great One’s gonna get around to saving us from ourselves eventually. Boy I wish I had a kid so he could grow up to be like the Great One. Next life maybe.

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